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Ask Polly: How Do I Make My Boyfriend Listen?
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, I want to know how I can make my boyfriend a better listener. It has happened several times that when I want to talk about something serious (the future, exes, fears,...
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Ask Polly: Why Am I Deathly Afraid of Success?
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, Love your column. Can I throw something at you? Apologies for being vague with certain details. I'm a 43-year-old woman who has spent my whole life in one industry,...
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Ask Polly: My Dad Died Unexpectedly And I Can't Get Over It
by Heather Havrilesky Hi Polly, Last year my father, who was 56, died suddenly of a heart aneurysm. He took me out for my 24th birthday dinner, and then two days later he was dead. I feel like the...
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How to Write
by Heather Havrilesky I teach a Popular Criticism class to MFA students. I don't actually have an MFA, but I am a professional, full-time writer who has been in this business for almost two decades,...
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Ask Polly: I Was Dumped After a Freak Accident and I Can't Move On
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, I was with my husband for six years before I found out that he cheated on me with a co-worker—as well as classmates and women at bars. After I divorced him, we didn't...
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Ask Polly: I Thought My Mother-in-Law Was Going to Kill Me at My Wedding
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, How can I put away the fact that when I got married ~1.5 years ago, my now-estranged mother-in-law's unchecked borderline personality disorder detracted from the...
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Ask Polly: I Survived a Hard Life, But I Never Learned How to Be Normal
by Heather Havrilesky Hello Polly! I'm 23 and I feel like I've come a pretty long way already. I grew up in an abusive and poor-as-hell home; went to live on my own when I was fifteen; struggled with...
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Ask Polly: I Have a Perfect Life But My Insides Are Rotting
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, I have sort of a backwards problem, in that the better things are going in my life, the worse I feel. I know a good bit, or think I do, about why this happens. My...
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Ask Polly: I Have Absolutely No Idea What I Need to Be Happy
by Heather Havrilesky Hi Polly. I don't even know where to start, because for some reason I'm HORRIBLE at articulating my emotions. I feel like as soon as I have an "epiphany," it only opens up the...
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Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Won't Stop Raging About My Sexual History
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I've been dating a guy for about four months. We’re madly in love, despite being different in more ways than we are alike. Politics,...
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Ask Polly: How to Be Nice
by Heather Havrilesky Hi Polly, One of the goals I have set for myself this year is to be a kinder person: more supportive and forgiving of my friends, more friendly and open to people I've just met,...
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Ask Polly: How Can I Stop Being a Shut In Once and for All?
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, I don't really know what my real problem is. I can name an array of problems that I have, but I don't know if they are symptomatic, causal, imaginary or just plain...
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Ask Polly: I Had a Stillbirth and My Husband Totally Lacked Empathy
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, I think my husband is spineless, selfish, and prioritizes his convenience over my emotions. Background: My husband is from another country. We visit for a month or...
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Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Thinks I'm Clingy and This Terrifies Me
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, I’m writing with a deceptively simple question. How can I be vulnerable? Some pertinent background: I’m an academic, working in a field that requires me to live in...
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Ask Polly: You Are Not Uniquely Fucked
by Heather Havrilesky Hi Polly, I’m 29 and have been through an enormous amount of shit that is both situation-specific and universal; I am not unproud that I’ve made it this far, considering. I’m in...
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Ask Polly: I Want to Get Laid But I'm Afraid of Oppressing Women
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, First of all, let me assure you, I feel like a huge asshole just for asking this, but I've been chewing on this question on and off for more than a year without any...
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Ask Polly: Should I Cut My Abusive Mother Out of My Life Forever?
by Heather Havrilesky Hi Polly, I'm trying to figure out how to get the gist of this across without writing a novel, but here goes. I am a 30-year-old woman who is really hitting her stride. I bought...
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Ask Polly: I Want People to Know the Real Me But It Just Won't Come Out
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, I want to be known, and to know other people. I crave intimacy, and not just physical intimacy. I realize everyone wants these things. But I am afraid I will never...
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Ask Polly: I Think My New Boyfriend Might Be a Horrible Control Freak
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Polly, I started dating a guy a few weeks ago, and yes I know, a few weeks is NOTHING, but, even in that short time some things have come up and I'm having a really hard...
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Polly Asks: New York Magazine Wants Me to Write Ask Polly For Them. Should I...
by Heather Havrilesky Dear Readers, I need to tell you a story. That means this will be just like every other Ask Polly column, except this story is a little longer than usual, and at first, when you...
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